When bad things happen in a real estate transaction Part I
Real Estate, like Life, has its ups and downs.
Being human we often wonder why bad things have to happen. Everything was going along so smoothly and then Wham! Example: My car broke down just too many times so I bought a new car and had it only a day and a half when I got rear ended! Now I have whiplash and can’t work on the computer or drive long distances which I have to for my job. This actually just happened to me. WHY? WHY? WHY?
The answer really is a simple one – because we need contrast in our lives to appreciate all the good stuff we have. Otherwise, we would be living desperately boring lives and not feel fulfilled and happy. As human beings we are built in such a way that we need to constantly be striving in order to be happy.
So what do we do when life or real estate throws us a curve ball or the ball hits us squarely in the face? Lynn Grabhorn (Love the name – grab life by the horns is what I think) in her book, Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting, states the steps we need to go through to get our life (or real estate goals) back on track:
Decide What It is You Don’t Want – This part is easy because our brain automatically focuses on what is out of sync. Write all this stuff you don’t want out of your life right now. If you haven’t found your dream home yet: Write it Down. If you haven’t sold your beloved home yet: Write it Down. If you haven’t attracted the right real estate agent for you yet: Write it Down. Next rip this list up in tiny pieces or burn it, remembering: You Don’t Want This Negative Stuff!
Decide What Real Estate Goals You Do Want
This is much harder to do, because our mind does not want to let go, wants to blame and once in the cavern of dark pessimism it is it hard to find a way out. Every time the depressing past comes up, refocus on what you want. So a real estate client didn’t honor his commitment to you? The buyer you thought was the perfect buyer backed out of the real estate contract. Now focus on attracting qualified real estate clients who have good values, are loyal and appreciate what you have to offer – whether you are selling, buying or representing a home.
Next put all your thoughts and feelings behind your want and wait for the Universe to manifest. Especially feel those good positive excited emotions propelling your goal forward, because that is the gas that gets us going on the path to achieve. Changing the inside of you will change the exterior—guaranteed! It is simply the Universal Law of Attraction (Read the book, The Secret, if you are not familiar with this concept).
That’s it—you’re done! Seems simple doesn’t it? Well, it is simple but not necessarily easy. We want to control things, fix things and blame – which all cause us to go back and focus on the depressing past and on what we don’t want. So here’s some helpful hints:
Instead of asking yourself why this real estate transaction did not work,
imagine a real estate transaction which does work. Feel it. Taste it. Envision it with all your senses. It also helps to pay attention to our thoughts and how they make us feel. We need to be able to distinguish between our negative and positive emotions so we can correctly focus on the feel good happy ones.
Let go of the need to fix-fix-fix or do-do-do. Lynn Grabhorn calls this frantic action Hi-Ho Silvering. In other words let your positive feelings, the Universe and the Law of Attraction do the work!
Whether you are a real estate agent or real estate client if your real estate goal has not appeared yet, be patient and take a breath. The Universe works on its own time clock.
Next Week I will relate a Real Life Story on a big real estate disappointment and what happened when I put the Law of Attraction to work.
Be aware that any clients names have been changed to protect their privacy. Furthermore, Paula Pagano does not accept any liability for the content of any Blogs and this Website or for any actions you take or resultant consequences of actions taken based on the information provided in this communication. Any advice is my opinion after being a 35 year experienced real estate agent in San Francisco.